The One Where... I explain why I am a feminist

If you were to create a time machine, go back 10 years and ask me the question, are you a feminist? My response in all likelihood would have been no.

Despite having spent three years at university studying women's history and trying to uncover some of the lost voices of the past, and despite writing a dissertation with feminist undertones (The emancipatory qualities of non-conformist religions on the lives of women in the 17th century, It's a ripping read), no I would have to say at the tender age of 21 I was not a feminist.

To be honest, at that age I didn't have much of an understanding what feminism was, yes I had read books, but really at that age and being as naive as I was, not really having experienced much of the world, feminism just didn't resonate.  I also come from a family with a lot of strong female characters, I grew up knowing that I could do anything or be anyone I wanted (as long as no serious laws were broken along the way) and I naively assumed that everyone came from the same kind of family and thought the same way I did.

So what changed? Being 21 and naive is one thing, being 26 and jaded is something else entirely. I had spent five years out in the world, in the work place and in social situations outside of the semi closeted world of studentdom.  In all honesty it felt all a bit grubby.  

There were comments made about the types of jobs that were suitable for the women to do, there was slut shaming, sexual harassment, inter office affairs, unwanted touching and attention.  There were questions about wanting to start families, why people looked/dressed the way they did, how weird it was that so-and-so didn't want children.  There were wage inequalities, bullying and darn right nastiness.

Honestly, I felt fed up of being talked down to, having other people's expectations thrust upon me and my body and the way I looked being public property.  I finally understood what this feminism thing was about, kind of.

But again if you went back 5 years in a time machine and asked me the question, are you a feminist?  Despite my growing beliefs  declaring that you were a feminist was not something that would make you friends.

Even now there are so many misconceptions about what feminism means and what it takes to be a feminist.  I know intelligent and aware women who flinch at even the suggestion that they may be a feminist, it still has negative undertones for many.  I have even heard the word used as an insult, which boggled my mind slightly.  Now I am by no means an expert, in anything, but I really want to try to explain what being a feminist means to me and why at the age of (nearly) 32 I am ready to come out of the closet.

So here are a run down of three of the things I feel most passionately about being a woman, and a feminist;

1.  I believe that Women should have the same opportunities as men.  
I don't think that the career aspirations of any woman should be limited by her gender, if you want to be a hairdresser, nurse, welder, IT technician, go for it.  And the same for the men, why should they be limited to builders, or city traders, if guys want to be beauticians or florists go ahead, equality is about being equal, everyone should have the same opportunities.

2. Women should not be judged by their physical appearance.  
OK everyone to varying extents is judged by the way they look or the way they dress.  However the preoccupation with female beauty (or perceived lack there of) is frankly revolting.  There are endless articles in the media about women's bodies, how good or bad they look, if they are too fat, too thin, are wearing too much make up, or none at all, if they look tired or stressed.  Really! Some of the most successful, inspiring, powerful women in the world and you want to talk about the way they look?  I know that men are subject to this too, but I feel not to the same extent, there are entire magazines dedicated to the way women in the public eye look.  The only media currency women seem to have nowadays appears to be as a sexual object.  Call me crazy but I would like to be judged on more than how fat my arse is and where I buy my clothes.

3. Women should have the right to have control over their bodies.
Why should I 'expect' to be groped when I am in a bar? or on the bus? in a shop or the train?  Why is this unwanted touching ever acceptable?  Do I walk up to random guys in the street, grab them by their junk and tell them they are hot? No, and no man should expect that type of treatment, so why should women expect to have her bottom pitched or her breasts groped?

These are just a few of the things that I feel strongly about being a woman.  In starting to write this post there are so many things that could be included, street harassment, reproductive rights, and domestic abuse to name just a few.

I am currently living in a time where, finally, many of these issues are being discussed and debated. I don't ever imagined that any of these things will be 'solved' but I hope that this shows that the culture in which I live starts to evolve in to something that shows a little bit more respect.  What does it say about us as a society if 'we' are treating 50% of the population with contempt.  Sidelining the wants needs, rights and wishes of our mothers, wives, sisters and daughters?

There are books and commentators out there that can talk about feminism waaaay better than I can, but I wanted to get my two pence worth in to the world.  

So to de-bunk a few myths;

Yes, I shave my arm pits and legs, I like them smooth, but I don't think anyone should be pressurised to do it to conform if they don't want to, heck when winter comes I like a little extra coverage myself.

No, I am not a lesbian, I thought about it for a while when was a teenager, but no,  I like men, but to all of those girls, boys and not quite sure's out there, love who you want to.

No, I don't hate men, I think they are pretty great most of the time, yeah there a few rum'ens but hey that's the same for us girls too.

Yes, I do wear skirts and dresses, I don't think acceptance in to the 'Feminism Club' should rely on a dress code.

No, I don't want to be a man.  Seriously being a girl is fantastic most of the time, why would I want to change?

I am a feminist and I am proud to be so.