Breakfast:
None
Lunch:
X1 M&S Olive Ciabtta Roll: 7PP
½ Can Heinz Chicken & Vegetable Soup: 5PP
Dinner:
x1 Tesco Finest Chicken Tikka Masala & Rice: 22PP
Snacks:
X5 Almonds: 2PP20g Dried Mango: 2PP
Points used today: 37
Weekly Points used: 0Activity Points Earned: 0 – Having a much deserved rest
Challenges:
Not
feeling good again today, I am hoping it’s to do with the new pill I am on
rather than another bout of depression kicking in just in time for Christmas.
Feeling lonely, taken for granted and generally unloved. You know the usual.I wanted to know what my triggers were for falling off the wagon and binge eating, and I have well and truly discovered them this week. I am lonely. I want to keep things as positive as I can and come up with a solution, rather than wallow in self pity. I have come to a conclusion therefore.
I think I may need to leave Colchester.
I just do not have the support network here that I need. Although I love my meeting, that is only once a week, I have a life for the other 6 days too. Although I supposedly have friends here, it is very difficult to see from my current position, I have not seen any of my 'friends' from Colchester socially in months. I did put it down to me withdrawing a little bit. However the fact that no one actually noticed spoke volumes to me today when I was thinking about my current situation. It would be good if I appeared on someones lists of priorities as opposed to being the person you can always blow off/rearrange/ask for a favour. I think about my friends how I can help and support them, I inconvenience myself to help them, but quite frankly it appears to me that no one has thought about me in a very long time, and I very much doubt anyone has inconvenienced themselves to help me out. I'm not going to make any hasty decisions, I can't really afford to move at the moment. But for the sake of my mental health and weight loss journey, I think I might need to.
Its quite a big step really to come to such a big conclusion, and it is hardly something that is easy to fix. I keep saying I will get there, with this though I am not so sure. Its a horrible thing to realise you are not liked. I thought I was coming to a point in my life where I was becoming happy with who I was, but obviously who I am is not good enough.
Sorry for the downer, needed to let it out. I really hope its the new pill, it says mood swings, and I am like a freaking pendulum.
Achievements:
I didn’t
order a takeaway! I really have had the
urge to stuff myself with Chinese food; however the practical side of me did
kick in eventually. Its just not cost
effective to order Chinese takeaway for one, unless you order a mountain of
food.
Tomorrow:
Weigh in tomorrow.
Even with my ‘not so good’
days this week I am actually within all of my points allowances. I would love a loss of 1.5lbs but
realistically 1lb is what I am hoping for.
The rest of the day is a bit of a blank. I may involve a cake from Greggs though.
Verdict: Food wise fine, life wise a bit shit
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